I return to deviantart after months of being away, heroically serving my country (if by 'heroically serving my country' you mean 'watching Supernatural and eating Cheez-Its', and trust me, I do), to discover that in my absence I've accumulated nearly 300 pageviews. That's astounding. Who has been viewing my page in my absence, and for what reason? Surely all hope that I'll ever post anything is as dead as my late cactus. RIP, Geoffrey.

Well, two-hundred-and-seventy-eight viewers - or singular viewer who has rather creepishly viewed my page two-hundred-and-seventy-eight times - I have a message for you: Hope Springs Eternal. I'm returning to this blasted and forsaken corner of the internet, and may even in time coax the green seed of life back into its ravaged terrain. If by 'green seed of life' you mean 'admittedly mediocre but ambitious and slowly improving fiction'. And trust me, I do.